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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2881)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10908) - you deserved it (33594)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8239) - you deserved it (21993)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

#5582438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (5798)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54285) - you deserved it (12778)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (3065)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

#5394523
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (20162)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm - intimacy - by dontpanic (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

#5280220
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (1934)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:24pm - kids - by Kellye (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (4908)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML

#4874112
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (11934)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:23am - love - by itrustedsnapeallalong (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML

#4548523
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11281) - you deserved it (33900)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by wimp (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (118173)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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