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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (12393)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

#6888984
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (24996)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by themonkeyman - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent my day alone while my parents and siblings were at school and work. Trying to be helpful, I cleaned out the fridge, did 5 loads of laundry, worked outside, fed the pets and made dinner for the entire family. The evening was spent hearing complaints of how wrong I did everything. FML

#6878679
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (2779)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by sadcinderella (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (4069)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took a hot plate out of the oven with my fancy silicone oven mitt. Seconds after carefully placing it on the cook top, I picked it up with my left, unprotected hand. FML

#6652180
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6568) - you deserved it (30638)

On 12/07/2009 at 6:08pm - health - by Van (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

#6635379
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23525) - you deserved it (16280)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

#6550541
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36050) - you deserved it (6598)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by AprilFlowers - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (1738)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

#6367435
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (4768)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15039) - you deserved it (27765)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (5113)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML



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