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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

#14768541
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (9869)

On 01/30/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by effingdoucher (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

#14669350
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (9668)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Peter C. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (7857)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (33654)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

#14250583
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (4319)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML

#13967248
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (5666)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21858) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

#13945112
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12041) - you deserved it (23562)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:25am - love - by ohsosad (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

#13923340
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (4629)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my city got almost a foot of snow. When I went out to my car, it was covered in snow with a layer of ice underneath. I went to open the trunk to get the window scraper, when the snow that had collected on the top of my back window slid into my trunk. My laptop was the recipient of most of the snow. FML

#13829927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (7778)

On 11/13/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by snowman (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

#13801861
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (4585)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm - health - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

#13789712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (2491)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:22pm - health - by khaelian (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

#13675018
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (9538)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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