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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

#21520696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22716) - you deserved it (1505)

On 01/29/2016 at 7:51am - misc - by TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

#21520051
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (1284)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:11pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

#21518208
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1369)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

#21515569
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15517) - you deserved it (14705)

On 01/15/2016 at 12:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

#21513338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm - love - by Jack (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (11676)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML

#21473975
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1557)

On 09/28/2015 at 10:48pm - misc - by briscoe (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

#21471027
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (1768)

On 09/21/2015 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

#21458894
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (2477)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

#21457386
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (1755)

On 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by sonice (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML

#21444844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (1859)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:05am - work - by actionboy116 (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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