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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (4597)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (2972)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

#21373118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52) - you deserved it (2308)

On 03/12/2015 at 12:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31930) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

#21353006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2857)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by LunaCrow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

#21343705
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/24/2015 at 10:26pm - intimacy - by confused (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

#21338280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (2729)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm - work - by 360whoroscoped (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (5119)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)



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