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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (1447)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (3772)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (9799)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (3481)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (5952)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (4618)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (2013)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

#21373118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82) - you deserved it (2324)

On 03/12/2015 at 12:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (3230)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)



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