Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9496) - you totally deserved it (1957)
On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
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On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
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On 11/05/2009 at 12:20pm - love - by z (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you totally deserved it (2834)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML
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On 10/19/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you totally deserved it (1876)
On 10/10/2009 at 10:59pm - money - by MadSon - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
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On 10/09/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so noone would notice and proceeded to checkout. The cashier then called for a pricecheck on the thong. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)
