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FMLs submitted from Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

#21474925
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (6309)

On 10/01/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

#21452391
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (1605)

On 08/05/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by gingerwhinger - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (3870)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (7157)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (4798)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57149) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53165) - you deserved it (6792)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (80148)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44453) - you deserved it (3647)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

#19363731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (5087)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by 3hoursleftofwork (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2827)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

#17239646
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49598) - you deserved it (18249)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:22am - love - by oouchh (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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