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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

#20030388
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (5498)

On 08/19/2012 at 6:28pm - misc - by i believe in shaq (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

#20026393
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (1809)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (1643)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

#19994423
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25673) - you deserved it (5419)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (4336)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (3259)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (3113)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2717)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (4031)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

#19659146
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (33199)

On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (8801)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (3759)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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