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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (3035)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (4967)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43484) - you deserved it (4403)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (9671)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41656) - you deserved it (4914)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (3190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (30289)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (3924)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

#20897734
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:18am - work - by ihatethisjob - United States (Michigan)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47646) - you deserved it (6178)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

#20878799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (47956)

On 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by Robert - United States (Michigan)



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