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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude what are you 12?! Hahaha!" FML

#20993484
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43106) - you deserved it (5765)

On 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm - love - by um...no? i don't think so anyway (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

#20981265
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:18am - animals - by Cat Ashes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stoppd by for a surprise visit!! Upon discovering the trash can full of usd tissues, she calld my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have!! real FML

Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today,ile taking an order over te pone for te customer at work, I began to ear sligt moans. Te moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was acieved and I looool realized I was being used for pone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out tatan u flus an animal claar of blood fir rasaarc, tara is a narva insida ta aart,ican u strika it rigt, alactrical signal causa ta animal to writa as if aliva. Now, boss knows about faar of zombias, and I'm now tarrifiad of alf job. FML

#20953149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (4876)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today , I Had Planned To Break Up With My Overbearing Grlfriend . She Went Into Complete Denial Mode , Bought Me A Pair Of Oversized Sunglasses An Tomorrow We're Going Ice-skating . Kill Me Now . FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (10226)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I woke up an went to the bathroom , only to fine my dad sitting on the toilet , blind drunk . He screamd "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me . I just wantd to shave .

#20946588
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today tere was a power outage at my apartment . I endd up deciding tat te power wasn't going to come on any time soon and tat I sould go to a otel 4 te nigt . Just after I unpackd at te otel my neigbor calld to say te power ad come back . FML

#20942793
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (40311)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me 4 not holding the door open 4 her . She accused me of bieng "everything wrong with the younger generation" . It was an automatic door . FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (3035)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is looool the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, cuz apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45141) - you deserved it (4966)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, in calculus, our substituta taachar told ma I was smart . Evarybody in tha class, including my friands, burst out laughing . FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43477) - you deserved it (4401)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today , I found out my andwriting is so bad tat people tink I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (9356)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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