FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

by jlmbull / 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

by TheAce44 / 07/26/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML

by acidonymous / 07/09/2015 at 12:32am / United States (Michigan) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

by Angel / 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

by fffemaleee / 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

by ugh / 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

by FrickingBusDrivers / 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

by pissed / 05/10/2015 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

by _Domster_46 / 05/04/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Michigan) / Work