FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

by fffemaleee / 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

by ugh / 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

by FrickingBusDrivers / 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

by pissed / 05/10/2015 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

by _Domster_46 / 05/04/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

by queenbitch / 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

by scared4myhair / 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

by gross / 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

by Bunsostriker / 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

by bingalingading / 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work