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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34044) - you deserved it (4079)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

#21363530
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm - animals - by natashamilan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48835) - you deserved it (4146)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (2512)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (4885)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (8133)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38965) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

#21339229
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm - money - by sophiae123 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)



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