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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (59454)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

#3549532
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59515) - you deserved it (3552)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54084) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59982) - you deserved it (7345)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (180250)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

#3145872
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9818) - you deserved it (61132)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40912) - you deserved it (5214)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you deserved it (62197)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55905) - you deserved it (4988)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (14160)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

#2691460
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50116) - you deserved it (8384)

On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)



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