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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (40540)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41256) - you deserved it (6793)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

#6861
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (2075)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:51pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML

#5890
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (57764)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:46am - work - by poisonhand (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (24607)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (2554)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32749) - you deserved it (5148)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (5096)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (29839)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41108) - you deserved it (9805)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (4831)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4274) - you deserved it (34428)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)



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