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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (5143)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (5091)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (29549)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (9799)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37738) - you deserved it (4828)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4265) - you deserved it (34374)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

#2411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (1872)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:41am - love - by NJ - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (1924)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (24049)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (3460)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (1724)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (2239)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)



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