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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

#13222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46213) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/07/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by princesspea (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (4167)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (40550)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (6793)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

#6861
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (2075)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:51pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML

#5890
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5245) - you deserved it (57791)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:46am - work - by poisonhand (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (24614)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (2554)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (5149)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (5096)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (29855)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41126) - you deserved it (9808)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37785) - you deserved it (4832)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)



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