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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52028) - you deserved it (4662)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (13122)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

#2691460
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40797) - you deserved it (7916)

On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

#2645317
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51272) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:14pm - love - by Baby_girl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118893) - you deserved it (6597)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45239) - you deserved it (11155)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74208) - you deserved it (7315)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (7330)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

#2113769
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (7527)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by vitalcheese (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (40789)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71356) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (43426)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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