FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

by LilyL / 06/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

by alyssac11 / 05/25/2010 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

by hurt / 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

by bumblebee / 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

by watersport / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

by SadFace / 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

by Lucy / 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

by ryan and Zack / 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy