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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (2612)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (2287)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (4432)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

#21386559
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (2003)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm - money - by Bunsostriker (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (2040)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (17028)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

#21376501
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by ohno - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

#21368483
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (6912)

On 03/05/2015 at 4:19am - work - by lion2294 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33991) - you deserved it (4075)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

#21363530
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (2686)

On 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm - animals - by natashamilan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)



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