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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7777) - you deserved it (57977)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51964) - you deserved it (4655)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (13109)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

#2691460
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (7912)

On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

#2645317
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51212) - you deserved it (4663)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:14pm - love - by Baby_girl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118609) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45191) - you deserved it (11142)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74123) - you deserved it (7306)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (7326)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

#2113769
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (7523)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by vitalcheese (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (40756)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)



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