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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (3187)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12017) - you deserved it (20947)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (46514)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (9234)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

#5635869
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (5187)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13am - love - by helplesslover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I checked in a group of men from Mexico. I speak just enough Spanish to realize they're discussing my breasts. I have to stand there smiling while checking in three more people. FML

#5618007
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Spanishredhead (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46915) - you deserved it (4592)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

#5498846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31248) - you deserved it (18826)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Dead_Eye (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40922) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, an injured guest stopped at the front desk of the hotel and raved about my kindness and 'commitment to customer service'. He told my boss about how I'd gone to the ice machine and personally delivered a bag of ice for his injured knee. Guess who got written up for leaving the front desk? FML

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

#5329801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (1959)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML

#5303014
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Kat (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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