FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

by Awkward / 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

by wellhellothere / 04/17/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

by ihateseagulls / 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

by Imslow / 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

by Spike / 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

by Matt / 03/20/2011 at 1:08am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

by Embarassed / 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

by ToxicSuicide / 03/08/2011 at 1:47am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

by killmenow / 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

by fail / 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous