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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33167) - you deserved it (3650)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

#9054929
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm - love - by hurt (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

#9047626
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (8941)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (1755)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (3787)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

#8893190
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (4395)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm - misc - by SadFace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

#8873623
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (2228)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

#8643603
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (6812)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (3912)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

#8474459
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:05am - work - by Nik - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7359) - you deserved it (20657)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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