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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML

#14588055
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/15/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (32025)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

#14529233
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29693) - you deserved it (2734)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19176) - you deserved it (7666)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (8618)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

#14399301
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6787) - you deserved it (43234)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm - love - by lululee53 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (7511)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33579) - you deserved it (2616)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34995) - you deserved it (3647)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7389) - you deserved it (34829)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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