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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19170) - you deserved it (7662)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (8616)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

#14399301
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (43205)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm - love - by lululee53 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3566)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (4691)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6500) - you deserved it (32373)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (4145)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML

#14161971
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57514) - you deserved it (3912)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:56am - love - by unwed - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21999) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

#14059634
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (41328)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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