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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (2299)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (6525)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9747) - you deserved it (55499)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

#13218546
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (6650)

On 09/27/2010 at 1:56am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (22295)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

#13183751
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (26686)

On 09/24/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (2586)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

#13065604
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (2134)

On 09/15/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

#13063394
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/15/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

#12887951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (2264)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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