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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (32666)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39528) - you deserved it (4801)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (4659)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56549) - you deserved it (3950)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (11777)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46979) - you deserved it (4313)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16552) - you deserved it (67378)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (7782)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (6679)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (5330)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40247) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (10380)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)



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