Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24320) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (4069)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (4315)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (7425)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

#21339229
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (4792)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm - money - by sophiae123 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (2130)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (1992)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14344) - you deserved it (35115)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: