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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

#12420355
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (9784)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

#12146210
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (8774)

On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

#11339057
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (4210)

On 06/20/2010 at 7:37pm - love - by Anony Mous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (24121)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that even after a really bad break up and the fact that I left him for someone else, my parents offered my ex-boyfriend to join us on a one week family vacation. He agreed. FML

#11131141
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (11460)

On 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by justgreatgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

#11015044
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (4952)

On 06/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by LilyL (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

#10748439
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (2940)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by alyssac11 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (6373)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (8855)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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