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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (3162)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

#15546650
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (2791)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm - health - by Spike (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (8002)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

#15323046
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (11625)

On 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (2629)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (31951)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44349) - you deserved it (8757)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (8119)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (8014)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6143) - you deserved it (60407)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (13269)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

#14811839
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (4394)

On 02/02/2011 at 1:22pm - work - by mandapanda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41368) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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