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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (13181)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (2792)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (47254)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44318) - you deserved it (2983)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (31200)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29402) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (3741)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38205) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (8130)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (2791)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3903)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (26267)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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