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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (6008)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, my credit card got blocked. Apparently, my bank thinks buying a $130 flat iron online is suspicious. FML

#17836225
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (5522)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:29am - money - by jpmetz - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

#17764515
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:21pm - love - by Freechbear (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

#17747814
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (4683)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by Awesome. (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (7082)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (4309)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

#17694865
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21548) - you deserved it (2655)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (2294)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36268) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

#17428177
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32334) - you deserved it (3575)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:44am - money - by donny31459 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (13199)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)



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