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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

#14811839
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (4347)

On 02/02/2011 at 1:22pm - work - by mandapanda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40672) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

#14681443
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10209) - you deserved it (39485)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#14674981
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (3871)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML

#14588055
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (4097)

On 01/15/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14442) - you deserved it (30814)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

#14529233
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (2563)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (4663)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (7465)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (8573)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

#14399301
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6699) - you deserved it (42777)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm - love - by lululee53 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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