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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (31862)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (8747)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37883) - you deserved it (7791)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (60187)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (13035)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

#14811839
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (4386)

On 02/02/2011 at 1:22pm - work - by mandapanda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

#14681443
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (39515)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#14674981
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (3876)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML

#14588055
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/15/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (30840)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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