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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (4839)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (3645)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (6819)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (8142)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

#14399301
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (39741)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm - love - by lululee53 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (2254)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (3235)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (4266)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5909) - you deserved it (30592)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19043) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML

#14161971
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49588) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:56am - love - by unwed - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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