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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (30077)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2596)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (3730)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (8115)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34142) - you deserved it (2687)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19582) - you deserved it (26183)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

#16434926
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (4464)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:47pm - kids - by Ann - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

#16075274
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (12212)

On 05/07/2011 at 3:08am - misc - by sillyfox4lyfe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

#15994879
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (5047)

On 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm - misc - by Tara (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me until I heard, "Honey, what did you make me for dinner?" FML

#15986605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35032) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/30/2011 at 2:27am - love - by greenintheface - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

#15920591
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (3849)

On 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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