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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (1937)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (17677)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (6123)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

#19303297
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (3566)

On 03/18/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

#19243126
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm - misc - by babymine - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

#19232651
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (7119)

On 03/07/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by RZ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (7810)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29907) - you deserved it (3421)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

#18899300
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (35228)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

#18864868
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by shellski (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

#18815086
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (4308)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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