Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (12833)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

#13681370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5682) - you deserved it (18860)

On 11/01/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

#13674656
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (15013)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:43pm - work - by wtf_fml_0609 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (6217)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17451) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16256) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (8023)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7223) - you deserved it (39917)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

#13218546
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/27/2010 at 1:56am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11225) - you deserved it (15273)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

#13183751
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7158) - you deserved it (18735)

On 09/24/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: