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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (3834)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (1711)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (5083)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (2800)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26297) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (2266)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (1933)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (17657)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (6118)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

#19303297
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23604) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/18/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

#19243126
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm - misc - by babymine - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

#19232651
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (7115)

On 03/07/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by RZ (man) - United States (Michigan)



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