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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4784) - you deserved it (400)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15697) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (4228)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (7335)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

#21339229
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (4356)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm - money - by sophiae123 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (33874)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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