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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2904)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38104) - you deserved it (2976)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (270) - you deserved it (4215)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34050) - you deserved it (3881)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (4111)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42669) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (32619)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)



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