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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (5006)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70567) - you deserved it (6816)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43422) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (5750)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53927) - you deserved it (9267)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5203)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47685) - you deserved it (4871)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50906) - you deserved it (5317)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (3439)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47652) - you deserved it (14952)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (5614)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)



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