FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

by fuck / 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

by Full Stomach Empty Wallet / 08/06/2015 at 6:50am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

by TheIVkindaruinsthemood / 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

by Liamj774 / 07/29/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML

by Fgjvshnb / 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

by zaynemaliksvagina / 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

by BrakesNotBumpers / 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder". That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

by Jules7594 / 06/12/2015 at 9:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

by Spa Catholic / 06/10/2015 at 8:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

by idonthavereligion / 05/29/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous