Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

#194766
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98669) - you deserved it (6177)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (103115)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (64294)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

#154795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15807) - you deserved it (34714)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by tan disaster - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

#153350
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58351) - you deserved it (4750)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

#134893
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55412) - you deserved it (2309)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by xoothc08 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (48609)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17346) - you deserved it (113806)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a note in my locker from a really hot guy asking me to prom. I went up to him saying how excited I was to go. He said "Oh you got the note?" and slipped it into the locker next to me. FML

#88303
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by caitiexob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16145) - you deserved it (31953)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (5229)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (2899)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (6584)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: