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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82770) - you deserved it (10943)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (4914)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36484) - you deserved it (1865)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (45882)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has been having an affair with another woman. He works with me and the woman also works in the same company. She is also married and is now 6 months pregnant. They are throwing a baby shower for her on Monday. FML

#11922
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32301) - you deserved it (1767)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:32pm - love - by Flabbergasted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

#10022
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you deserved it (40454)

On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34169) - you deserved it (13271)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (7480)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7559) - you deserved it (27297)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (31549)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16286) - you deserved it (2776)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (2452)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)



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