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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

#10022
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (38878)

On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (12053)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6616) - you deserved it (25333)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6635) - you deserved it (28249)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (2131)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (1673)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16309) - you deserved it (3938)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (2843)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (6487)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14116) - you deserved it (5380)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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