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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, an I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents looool had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

#943953
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65955) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday the guy that I like took me on to the Cavalier game. At the game , on the jumbotron they do a thinghere they show couple an have them kiss , the camera goes on to us an as I go into kiss him he turns an says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejectd. big fat FML

#934076
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132967) - you deserved it (9930)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I parkd my car on the street to go to the gym. When i cummd back my car was blockd by a parade of people. I turnd to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. real FML

#920023
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15332) - you deserved it (44089)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah girlfriend got the breast implant she's been wanting 4 the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can fine a guy with a real job now!" I paid 4 her fake tits. FML

#913985
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63908) - you deserved it (20076)

On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I was babysitting my nieghbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66444) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I was at the mall shopliftinghen a girlho lookd mah age pointd to a shirt I had in mah bag. "Stole that , huh?" she askd smiling. She lookd pretty cool , so I noddd and askd if she stole the jeans she was wearing,hich were from the store. Turns out she didn't , she's the manager. FML

#843065
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (497226)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my moter an I went to lunc an tere is a really cute waiter tat works at te diner. I requested im to wait on us lyk I sometimes do. Wile we were waiting to be seated, I eard one waiter say to te cute one, "Ya, te creepy one is back, an tis time se brougt er mom!" FML

#801391
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (65649)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

#800907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84491) - you deserved it (3919)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bast friand and I cama homa from Japan. Har boyfriand and I hava baan having an affair bafora I laft so I dacidd to tall him sha was coming with ma. Wa just got off tha plana and got a bita to aat, ha was waiting fir ma so ha could proposa, my bast friand was standing naxt to ma. maga FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (203983)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents 4 the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked yur old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57152) - you deserved it (2959)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit!! My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom!! He publicly pulled out my tampon!! FML

#784043
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (424626) - you deserved it (67606)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that bacausa of my high blood prassura I can't hava sax fir ona month. My wadding is naxt waakand and tha following two waaks r my honay moon. FML

#771915
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240614) - you deserved it (24670)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah call phona broka. It wouldn't avan turn on. I want onlina to accass mah account so that I could ordar a naw phona. I couldn't ramambar mah password. Tha phona company had an option of "forgot mah password". Upon clicking I gat a massaga saying "Your password will ba sant to yur phona". FML

#765962
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61504) - you deserved it (5829)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by nhanley1 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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