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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back mah report from the checkup I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

#1536104
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77605) - you deserved it (5782)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday I Went To Get Te Apple Store, My Mac Ad Been Making A Grinding Noise From Te Fan. Te Guy Put Is Ear To Te Keyboard And Said Tere Was A CD In Te Drive So I Couldn't Ear Te Grinding From Te Fan. He Ejected Te CD. It Was Porn. FML

#1493509
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (92627)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her fir two months , so I responded with "sure thing baby , an by the way I ran out of condoms , can you bring more fir tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. fat FML

#1489394
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (83529)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TADAY 3 OF THE 4 STALLS WERE OCCUPIED IN THE REST ROOM. I TOOK THE 4TH STALL. UPON SITTING, I LET OUT ONE OF THE LONGEST, LOUDEST FARTS I HAVE DONE IN A LONG TIME. NEXT, I HEAR ( HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? ). I WAS CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED BY A CO-WORKER HEARING ME FART. FAT FML

#1487277
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (10573)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today..!! I was at mah 3 year-old niece's birthday party!! I was swinging on there swing sethen she walked directly into mah path!! I tried to jump off the swing..!! but I could not stop myself in time!! I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye!! Happy birthday! FML

#1470425
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (10045)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:14pm - misc - by BrandNewKadillak - United States (Massachusetts)

today is mah boyfriend an mah 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video an exercise equipment. fat FML

#1322520
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52375) - you deserved it (10905)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by fmlgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen I pickd it up intending on throwing it in the trash. When I lookd up there wasn't a trash can for another hundrd feet. So I puttd it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

#1303608
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (55747)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ad to go to my 10 year old son's scool to talk about my job bieng a cef . As I was almost finised, I asked te kids ( Wat would you like to do wen you grow up? ) Witout esitation one kid replied wit a straigt face , ( Anyting but bieng a doucebag like you . ) FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60872) - you deserved it (5547)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah shower is bieng renovated so I decided to wash mah hair in the kitchen sink!! I putted mah two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close!! As I was rinsing out mah hair, mah son started playing with the light switches!! He flicked the garbage disposal on accident!! FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69397) - you deserved it (26696)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today,hen I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up an a bunch of guys get outho look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking manho had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designatd driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challengd. FML

#1178108
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (62112)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, fir mah mom's 50th brthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money fir me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, mah older sister gave her the gold bracelethich made her cry. When I gave her mah present she just said "oh." FML

#1105841
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64712) - you deserved it (5147)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was folding the laundry . At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or mah mothers . I'm 18 . She is 56 . Enough said . FML

#1090882
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (11847)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by granny_panties (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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