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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (409703) - you deserved it (66979)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235128) - you deserved it (24537)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML

#765962
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59216) - you deserved it (5588)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by nhanley1 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

#731686
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61924) - you deserved it (5803)

On 03/31/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by jkl54 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (67284)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53563) - you deserved it (16695)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110748) - you deserved it (4587)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, is my 18th birthday. I call my parents and they tell me they found weed in the guest house and so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say "Happy Birthday." FML

#660638
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63578) - you deserved it (4358)

On 03/28/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by alrightsheryl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work at a preschool. I was sitting outside with the kids and was getting bored so I started singing. One of the little girls runs up and puts her hand over my mouth and tells me to stop. I'm in a select chorus at my highschool and plan to major in choral studies in college. FML

#659124
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47072) - you deserved it (9920)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14am - kids - by justjust (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

#640926
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93180) - you deserved it (5997)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by tehhotness (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

#619035
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73985) - you deserved it (11100)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147043) - you deserved it (11588)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

#548341
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (56269)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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