Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (1213)
On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (2743)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (3085)
On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (2135)
On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (6426)
On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (3921)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5077) - you deserved it (21824)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (535)
On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13448) - you deserved it (1127)
On 01/11/2009 at 3:59pm - health - by EpicFail - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (2442)
On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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