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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (2649)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (8788)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

#6560085
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (5555)

On 12/01/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Bostonian (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (8111)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

#6515596
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (5385)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (5575)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

#6423121
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (6522)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by bleh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

#6390858
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (3899)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (7243)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (12632)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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