FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

by onemoreruinedthing / 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

by pictureperfect678 / 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

by nude / 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

by Ilovelife07 / 01/14/2010 at 10:14am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

by Amber / 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

by GeorgiaBOYY / 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

by loser / 01/03/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

by silverstar189 / 01/01/2010 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids