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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Taday Tere Was A Fire Alarm In My Dorm. Just As I Was Leaving My Room, A Lady In Te Allway Told Me Tat It Was A Drill An Tey'd Be Inspecting Rooms, So I Would Ned To Leave My Door Unlockd. Wen I Cummd Back, My Room Was Trasd An My Laptop, Speakers, An Jewelry Were Gone. FML

#5406145
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (14925)

On 09/21/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by zzyx (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Was Locked Out Of My House So I Texted My Cousin To Come Over And Help Me Get In. She Came Over, Stood On A Chair And Lifted Me Through The Smallest Unlocked Window Possible. Sadly, This Was My Bathroom Window And I Ended Up Head-frst Into My Toilet. Mega FML

#5358347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (9190)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to lunch on mah break. When I got back to work, I noticd I had something in mah teeth. After trying to get it out with mah tongue, I finally went to mah car fir some floss. I endd up pulling a 4 inch pube out of mah back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

#5344404
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (8986)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Ilovelife07 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I was driving through a nieghborhood and saw a "slow down , children" sign!! I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with thier parents outside watching them!! I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile!! FML

#5340344
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3959)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got pulled over 4 going a few miles per our over te speed limit. Te cop asked 4 ma license and registration. I appened to look down at ma wallet wile e was processing everyting and saw ma license in ma wallet. I gave te cop ma fake I.D. FML

#5325524
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (60436)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I went on a blind date with a guyho talked about himself in the 3rd person . Seriously . mega FML

#5219515
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (5879)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating MandM on a chair when I dropped one an it fell under my crotch !! My mom cummed in to see my hand on my crotch an me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" real FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59470) - you deserved it (15310)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY , I PARTICIPATED IN TE SCOOL PLAY. MY FAMILY CUMMED TO SEE ME IN TE PRODUCTION. ALL WAS GOING WELL WEN MA DAD CUMMED UP TO ME AN SAID , "WERE TE FUCK WERE YOU? TE SOW SUCKED." TANKS DAD FIR NOT RECOGNIZING YOUR OWN DAUGTER. FML

yesterday I was having a really bad day and told friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school , he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes , they did , right in the middle of English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. real FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45831) - you deserved it (6981)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, an the man next to me starts saying it's ( probably fate ) an ( we all have to go sometime ) an my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at mah grlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candle everywhere, scented the air an placed rose petal all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic an loving. The frst thing she said when she saw all this was ( uggg I have to clean all this up ). FML

#5097927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (4927)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told mah friend over videochat every explicit detail ofhat I had in store for mah boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that herhispering during the story was her way of trying looool to tell me her dad was in the room listening to thehole thing. FML

#4985034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (24533)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , someone broke my car's left side mrror. A friend of mine was buying a looool replacement one and texted me to confrm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side , right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mrror. FML

#4975580
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (43739)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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