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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

#6114128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (2215)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (47244)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9010) - you deserved it (82956)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (2306)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

#6009971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by meagainsttheworld (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister got married. For the second time. She's 30. Two men have loved her enough to cry over their vows to her. Every single person there asked me why I wasn't married yet. FML

#5998946
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:27pm - love - by joyful-not (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

#5943404
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33469) - you deserved it (5018)

On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

#5851681
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (3614)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by DamnThatsHarsh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (5613)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9901) - you deserved it (39416)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7728) - you deserved it (65223)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

#5529858
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (8381)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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