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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

#7145421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (7500)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by GeorgiaBOYY (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (5999)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (60594)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

#6967359
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (7261)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:30am - love - by reconnect (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (7937)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you deserved it (6302)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (3172)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (4219)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#6676625
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10153) - you deserved it (15342)

On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38223) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (8488)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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