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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my sister got married. For the second time. She's 30. Two men have loved her enough to cry over their vows to her. Every single person there asked me why I wasn't married yet. FML

#5998946
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (2709)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:27pm - love - by joyful-not (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

#5943404
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (4984)

On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

#5851681
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (3602)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by DamnThatsHarsh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (5603)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9889) - you deserved it (39383)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7713) - you deserved it (65141)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (4759)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

#5529858
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (8378)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

#5515863
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (2951)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (4184)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

#5406145
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (14683)

On 09/21/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by zzyx (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (8998)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

#5344404
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (8802)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Ilovelife07 - United States (Massachusetts)



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