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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

#6423121
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (5940)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by bleh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

#6390858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (6635)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (11521)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8775) - you deserved it (43824)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my husband's and my anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother who'd visited to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

#6199211
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (5080)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by sexysue (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

#6114128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (2224)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6325) - you deserved it (47312)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (83093)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45977) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

#6009971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (2886)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by meagainsttheworld (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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