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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

#13716759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15896) - you deserved it (33277)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I changed all my plans, after months of him begging me to, so I could go to the same university as my long-term boyfriend. After I sent in my deposit, he told me we couldn't live together in college because I was "invading his space." FML

#13259314
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (13576)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:31am - love - by stupidgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12026) - you deserved it (39831)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (6419)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

#12792184
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2946)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (8774)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54048) - you deserved it (6514)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (8510)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

#12497360
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (49686)

On 08/13/2010 at 10:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (3737)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)



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