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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

#12142770
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (3602)

On 07/27/2010 at 9:56am - love - by nu_ravers_101 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

#11927382
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33077) - you deserved it (2287)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15671) - you deserved it (42335)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

#11151626
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (57659)

On 06/12/2010 at 6:13pm - health - by bobby - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (5643)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML

#11017232
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (2264)

On 06/06/2010 at 7:48pm - misc - by mark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

#10773594
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (5219)

On 05/26/2010 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you deserved it (4785)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14147) - you deserved it (37493)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (2543)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

#9008016
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4916) - you deserved it (23592)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

#8875865
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38165) - you deserved it (1930)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)



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