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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10321) - you deserved it (36129)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (5997)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

#12792184
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (8255)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49905) - you deserved it (6087)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (8005)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

#12497360
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8826) - you deserved it (45495)

On 08/13/2010 at 10:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (3461)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

#12142770
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (3592)

On 07/27/2010 at 9:56am - love - by nu_ravers_101 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

#11927382
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (2277)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14488) - you deserved it (40505)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

#11151626
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (57468)

On 06/12/2010 at 6:13pm - health - by bobby - United States (Massachusetts)



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