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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

#10773594
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/26/2010 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34916) - you deserved it (4709)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (3138)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13983) - you deserved it (37205)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

#9008016
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4681) - you deserved it (22960)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

#8875865
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (1817)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (8079)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML

#8764219
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11005) - you deserved it (21915)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

#8749925
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5926) - you deserved it (33278)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:50pm - work - by themanontheright - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (2329)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (5988)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (39598)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)



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