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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

#15004070
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (2252)

On 02/16/2011 at 4:08pm - misc - by clips (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML

#14910524
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8560) - you deserved it (64154)

On 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

#14907704
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

#14618651
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (4876)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (7299)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (2843)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (50961)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

#14312521
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7624) - you deserved it (31507)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by wench (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (3489)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (21846)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

#14130946
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (30424)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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