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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18659) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me that he believes in females being subservient, and I am not allowed to have opinions anymore. AND he is "the Alpha Dog" and I'm merely the "Beta Dog", so I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (6675)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17857) - you deserved it (1844)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6837) - you deserved it (18890)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

#7775302
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (4164)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

#7527132
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm - kids - by onemoreruinedthing (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (3946)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

#7344260
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4391) - you deserved it (19501)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by nude (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4774) - you deserved it (38350)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21617) - you deserved it (2257)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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