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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (4975)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (2484)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (2272)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (7061)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36379) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (3587)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40712) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38106) - you deserved it (3080)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (38009)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (47124)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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