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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (7168)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (2722)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you deserved it (50695)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

#14312521
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (31266)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by wench (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (3390)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (20285)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

#14130946
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9592) - you deserved it (29691)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

#14086848
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27997) - you deserved it (3036)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (4404)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5430)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

#13829681
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2682)

On 11/13/2010 at 5:34pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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