Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

#15740494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (4358)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

#15594331
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35299) - you deserved it (4832)

On 04/01/2011 at 8:45pm - misc - by Groped (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML

#15581921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15950) - you deserved it (47541)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

#15242140
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (4467)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (6539)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3368)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16435) - you deserved it (57353)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

#15133250
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (3030)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: