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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (50592)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

#14312521
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7508) - you deserved it (31155)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by wench (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (3364)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (20232)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

#14130946
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9354) - you deserved it (29142)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

#14086848
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (4400)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (5408)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

#13829681
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (2642)

On 11/13/2010 at 5:34pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29139) - you deserved it (5084)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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