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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (3862)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (12227)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (2118)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22614) - you deserved it (3248)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

#18048344
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (2413)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (15882)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML

#17900400
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (2308)

On 10/03/2011 at 11:22pm - work - by Julia (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (2609)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49136) - you deserved it (3772)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (2393)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)



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