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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

#15985974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (6849)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (3204)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (2415)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (2910)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

#15805377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (3269)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by inalotofpain (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7238) - you deserved it (56390)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

#15740494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (4263)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5924)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

#15594331
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (4405)

On 04/01/2011 at 8:45pm - misc - by Groped (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML

#15581921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (3221)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (5664)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (4007)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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