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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (4575)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

#17780989
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (9693)

On 09/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by stuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (5444)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

#17677583
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (2112)

On 09/06/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by grossedout - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (4769)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9541) - you deserved it (22352)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

#17544158
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (4807)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

#17429124
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (2407)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52379) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

#17400862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (2488)

On 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by Paul - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (4261)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML

#17370031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (3403)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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