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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (18826)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

#17544158
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (4600)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

#17429124
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47150) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

#17400862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (2299)

On 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by Paul - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML

#17370031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

#17355193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12830) - you deserved it (35650)

On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (3065)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

#17322552
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (32524)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

#17315366
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (15277)

On 07/31/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by James (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML

#17125458
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (2041)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm - love - by emily - United States (Massachusetts)



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