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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

#18048344
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2770)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (15806)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML

#17900400
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (2107)

On 10/03/2011 at 11:22pm - work - by Julia (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (2896)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (3578)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (4573)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

#17780989
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (9685)

On 09/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by stuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26400) - you deserved it (5442)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

#17677583
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/06/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by grossedout - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (4768)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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