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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

#19198099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (1530)

On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (2683)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9005) - you deserved it (30253)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

#18947150
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (1633)

On 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm - work - by LowerCrust (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (32319)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7901) - you deserved it (46204)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (14004)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (55669)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my roomie has lost her only source of income. This means I'm responsible for all the bills and the rent. I would kick her out and get someone else, but she's my mother. FML

#18696209
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (4141)

On 01/03/2012 at 11:35am - money - by cul8erqtpie20 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15264) - you deserved it (27691)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (2585)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (3841)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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