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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (29174)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74073) - you deserved it (4329)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (3639)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (7694)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47635) - you deserved it (3702)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (4538)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (4130)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (1693)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (3140)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (2809)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)



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