Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (4327)
On 04/01/2011 at 8:45pm - misc - by Groped (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (3053)
On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (4568)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (3272)
On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12617) - you deserved it (36114)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (2255)
On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36328) - you deserved it (3408)
On 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (2975)
On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12970) - you deserved it (44270)
On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (2583)
On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (4270)
On 02/23/2011 at 11:04am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (11959)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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