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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (4535)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (2033)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (2440)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (4310)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

#20074444
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8532) - you deserved it (54830)

On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (5885)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40191) - you deserved it (2180)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (12686)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16040) - you deserved it (3114)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

#20045388
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (1751)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (2421)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (9060)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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