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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (4771)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35668) - you deserved it (9205)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51919) - you deserved it (4834)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49801) - you deserved it (4745)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66746) - you deserved it (6386)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43222) - you deserved it (6216)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41164) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (5722)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (8613)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47396) - you deserved it (4843)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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