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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

#21496209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (6147)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents found out that my younger brother has been smoking pot. As his punishment, he can't be home alone anymore. And apparently, I'm now his full-time babysitter since I "don't have a life anyway." FML

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

#21492366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/14/2015 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date he starts talking about his wife and kids. FML

#21488409
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:46pm - love - by Lori (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

#21487881
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (1649)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Broken - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML

#21483180
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (1870)

On 10/22/2015 at 9:27pm - kids - by Thanks a lot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

#21473971
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (6671)

On 09/28/2015 at 10:32pm - animals - by Js2cool - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

#21471301
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (21859)

On 09/22/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1492)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3754)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (6042)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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