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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (3488)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (11439)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (5604)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (3345)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (2996)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML

#21292851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:52pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37896) - you deserved it (5930)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML



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