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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (2016) - you deserved it (6863)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

#18947150 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (493)

On 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm - work - by LowerCrust (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (2496) - you deserved it (8532)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (2104) - you deserved it (12005)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935 (373)

I agree, your life sucks (8687) - you deserved it (36378)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my roomie has lost her only source of income. This means I'm responsible for all the bills and the rent. I would kick her out and get someone else, but she's my mother. FML.

#18696209 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/03/2012 at 11:35am - money - by cul8erqtpie20 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (3458) - you deserved it (5864)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (1672)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (1096)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

#18240812 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (5998) - you deserved it (20548)

On 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm - misc - by honeybadger123 - United States (Massachusetts)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (8985) - you deserved it (3813)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (1243)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)