Today, I lost my wallet with 300 dollars in it as I was going to run some errands throughout the day. Later on, it managed to find its way back to my mailbox, emptied to the last penny with a note saying, "Don't worry I rewarded myself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11150) - you totally deserved it (2729)
On 03/19/2010 at 8:05am - money - by laz - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML
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On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML
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On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML
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On 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
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On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML
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On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5264) - you totally deserved it (10528)
On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML
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On 03/01/2010 at 3:50pm - work - by themanontheright - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
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On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
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On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
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On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
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On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
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On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)
