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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (3161)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (5431)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (1404)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

#21452638
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/06/2015 at 6:50am - money - by Full Stomach Empty Wallet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24185) - you deserved it (2024)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (1569)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (2047)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder". That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

#21424908
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (2217)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:02am - misc - by Jules7594 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (1936)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)



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